Employee Relations Class
by lazywriter123
Summary: a sequal to "Vacation for the boys", this time the whole team is up for some craziness. There is a bit of hotch/Reid fluff, its meant to be humorous rather then romantic.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Criminal Minds

Enjoy

I have decided to make a sequel for my story "Vacation for the Boys" since I got some review about making one. Also I have some spare time now for a bit until finals week. After that, prepare for a lot of stories and updates.

Strauss has the soul of a demon; she told the team that they have to take a employee relations course, three times a week from six to eight at night, for five months.

There was a large room set up in the office and six chairs were set up.

They sat down on the first day, very fearful of what this course has in store for them.

Suddenly a bubbly middle-age man came in. He was wearing a tie that said "smile and the world will smile with you."

"HELLO everyone, my name is Mark, Strauss already let me know your names so let's work together and have lots of fun."

Morgan looked at the man, "Holy crap it's a clone of Dr. Phil."

"Alright were going to have a trust exercise, I want…Spencer and…Rossi. Please come up."

Spencer and Rossi reluctantly got up and stood near Mark.

"Ok now I have a ball in my hand. Spencer has put his trust into Rossi that he will move in front of the ball so Spencer won't get hit."

"Wait…what" said Rossi.

Mark threw the ball and it hit Spencer in the eye. "OWW…you hit me in the eye."

"Rossi, you were supposed to protect Spencer. Let's try this again."

"Please…no" whimpered Spencer.

Mark threw the ball and it hit Spencer in the shin.

Spencer held his leg and yelped in pain.

"Rossi stop the ball" shouted Morgan.

"You kidding? This is fun" said Rossi with a smile.

Mark held his head in his hand, "We have a lot of work to do."

NEXT CLASS

"Today I want JJ and Prentiss. Come up please."

They went up.

"Ok I want you two to hold each other's hands and look into each other's eyes."

When they did it got the boys attention.

"Ok now with your eyes tell the other person how she is a wonderful person with strength and that she is valued on the team."

"Now I want you to hold each other and so that you can comfort each other when times are hard."

Morgan's and Rossi's eyes were bugging out of their sockets. Hotch and Reid were blushing. "This is better than a college party" said Garcia.

She took out a small bag of popcorn that she hid in her purse.

"Very good ladies. Now I want Reid…and Hotch. Please come up."

They got up.

"Ok this time I want you to do the same thing as the girls did."

Spencer and Hotch held each other.

"Scratch that, this is better than college, by a long shot" said Garcia.

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	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Criminal Minds

Enjoy

It was class again and Mark came in as happy as a clam.

"I wonder if he's on coke" whispered Morgan.

"Wouldn't surprise me" said Hotch.

"Ok everyone today I want us to experience what is like to be in each other's shoes. So everyone…talk off your shoes."

Everyone looked at each other and then took off their shoes, "Oh yeah he's high alright."

"Now everyone put on someone's shoes but not yours."

Hotch put on Morgan's shoes.

Morgan put on Rossi's shoes.

Rossi put on Garcia's shoes.

Garcia put on Hotch's shoes.

JJ put on Spencer's shoes.

Spencer put on Prentiss's shoes and Prentiss put on JJ shoes.

"So how do you feel?"

"Hotch, you have HUGE feet."

Spencer looked down at Prentiss's black high heel stiletto shoes.

"You know these are pretty comfortable."

Hotch was in Morgan's leather shoes, "God Morgan, you have hobbit feet."

"HEY!"

"Ok now that you're in someone else's shoes, let's act like that person okay?"

"Hotch you start."

Hotch stepped forward but winced in pain from the tightness of the shoes.

"Ok…Hi I'm Morgan, I sleep with lots of woman and I dress like a such a bad boy."

Morgan snorted, "Oh look I'm Rossi, and I think I'm so great and powerful. Look at my ego inflate. But I can't get a date to save my life because I can't get over myself."

Garcia stepped forward, "I'm Hotch, my face is frozen in place, when I have sex I'm like a robot. I move in sync then I say "I'm done."

Everyone started to laugh.

Rossi stepped up, "I'm Garcia, I act like a squealing fourteen year old girl and I look like I walked out of a tween magazine."

"You're a jerk Rossi" said Garcia with a huff.

JJ stepped up, "I'm Reid, I can't get a date, I look like a 60-year –old college professor and I'm too lazy to get a decent hair cut."

Reid snorted, "I'm Prentiss, and I'm so bad ass, because I walk tall and act like one of the guys."

Prentiss stared at him, and then tackled him.

"Hey you don't mess with my Pretty boy" shouted Morgan and jumped into the fighting pair. Soon everyone was pulling each other's hair, kicking, punching, and screaming.

"I think we should end class a bit earlier today" said Mark with a sigh.

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	3. Chapter 3

I don't own Criminal Minds

Enjoy

Everyone was at class waiting for Mark. He was already ten minutes late. Suddenly he burst through the door while fixing his tie.

"Sorry I'm late. Now first off we had a rocky class the other day so now were going to have an group apology today."

"Spencer tell Prentiss your sorry for insulting her."

"'I'm sorry Emily, I never meant what I said because you're an awesome friend."

They hugged. "Good now everyone can do the same." Everyone was hugging and apologizing. Hotch however, after he said sorry to Reid but wouldn't stop hugging him.

"Hotch, you can let go of Reid now."

Hotch let him go and Reid smiled at him.

"Ok…everyone now that we are sorry and happy again, today were are doing an activity called, the hope circle."

Everyone got in a circle on the floor, Hotch sat right next to Reid.

"Ok everyone, now let's get real close together."

Everyone moved so they sat in a smaller circle.

"What's important as a team is that you can all be together and work together. You must support each other and help each other when something bad happens."

"Let's say that…Spencer was attacked by an unsub and was placed in the hospital. Despite some wounds he was ok. How would you guys help him recover from the ordeal?"

"I would let him know that he is never alone and we will always be there for him" said Morgan.

"Good…yes Garcia?"

"I would give him a million hugs and kisses. Plus a big cup of coffee."

"I like that idea…Hotch?"

"I would remind him that he is a strong person with a big heart and that nothing could bring him down."

Spencer smiled and blushed at the compliments his teammates gave him.

"Great now, in this circle, you should feel safe because it has all your closest friends in it. So never forget that you have this circle of friends to back you up."

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	4. Chapter 4

I don't own Criminal Minds

Enjoy

Today in class Mark took the team to a place that gives cooking classes. He told them that to work as a team they have to be able to perform simple tasks effectively and easily, so he told them to cook a food of their choice. They had to have a partner or work in a group.

Rossi paired with Prentiss.

Spencer with Hotch.

JJ, Garcia and Morgan decided to work in a group.

Rossi and Prentiss decided to make banana bread, so they set to work mashing bananas and making the batter.

Spencer and Hotch decided to make Mac and Cheese.

Garcia, JJ and Morgan decided to make chicken curry with sautéed vegetables and rice.

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After an hour, Garcia noticed that smoke was coming from the stove, "THE CHICKEN IS BURNING."

Morgan panicked and through a bowl of water on the chicken.

"MORGAN, NOW WE HAD WATERLOGGED CHICKEN" shouted JJ.

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Spencer was stirring the pasta while humming happily, Hotch placed his hands on Spencer's as "helped" him stir.

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Rossi was whisking the batter but he couldn't get the lumps out so he put the mixture in the blender and set it on high.

Both Prentiss and Rossi were covered in Banana and smelled like it too.

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At the end, Mark tasted the finished food. First was Garcia's group.

"The vegetables and rice are great but the chicken tastes funny."

"That's because SOMEONE, dumped cold water on it" snarled Garcia.

"Well despite the error, great teamwork to make a nice dinner."

Next was Hotch and Spencer.

"Who this is great, its gourmet, you used different spices and ingredients."

"Yeah me and Spencer like to…experiment."

"Oh god, Hotch don't say experiment like that ever again" said Rossi.

Prentiss blinked, "Are they together now or something?"

"Well they did kiss at that play, maybe they do like each other" said JJ.

"No shit Sherlock" said Garcia.

Next were Rossi and Prentiss.

"Uh…I don't see any food here."

Rossi and Prentiss were still covered in banana bread batter.

"Oh…well still good effort."

"Rossi, remind me very to cook with you ever again."

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	5. Chapter 5

I don't own Criminal Minds

Enjoy

Mark came in looking sad. It shocked the team.

"I'm sorry everyone…my girlfriend just dumped me."

Mark's eyes were puffy from the crying.

"Ok so today we are going to talk about love and HOW A WITCH CAN RIP IT FROM YOU…sorry. Anyway, today let's all get in a circle and meditate, so we can learn to relax and let go of our anger."

They got in a circle but Hotch put his hands on Spencer hips. Spencer winked at him.

"Ok those guys are totally together" said JJ.

"I'll ask him later" said Morgan.

Everyone relaxed and started to meditate. However Rossi got an itch on his foot, when he tried tom starch it, Mark scolded him and told him not to move. Rossi tried to wiggle his body to get at the itch in his foot but accidently kicked Morgan.

"Hey, I'm trying fine my inner peace here."

"Sorry."

"Rossi and Morgan, no talking."

Spencer hated to meditate because it was so boring and didn't really relax him, so in his back pocket he had a small hand head Tetris game. He started to play and was winning in only a few minutes.

When Spencer won he shot up and shouted, "Yeah I won."

Everyone looked up at him and Mark was fuming.

"SPENCER SIT DOWN AND PUT THAT GAME AWAY."

Spencer sat down and put the game into his pocket. He didn't want to meditate so he just sat and waited for Mark to say they were done.

Finally after fifteen minutes, Mark said they were done but was still mad at Spencer.

"You're supposed to be meditating, not playing games."

"I hate meditation it bores me silly."

Mark was enraged, "LOOK IT'S MY JOB TO TEACH YOU HOW TO A BETTER TEAM SO SHUT IT AND GO TO THE CORNER TO MEDITATE."

Spencer walked to the corner and sat down, he pretended to meditate.

"Wow, that must have been a bad break up" said Rossi.

"Either that or he really needs some sex" said Morgan.

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	6. Chapter 6

I don't own Criminal Minds

Enjoy

The team was sitting in the room, Mark came in but noticed Rossi had a strange look on his face.

"Hey Rossi, are you ok."

"No…I walked in on Reid and Hotch at the office."

"Rossi, I swear we were going Pilates" said Reid, who was as red as a cayenne pepper.

"Oh come on…we all know you do the no pants tango so stop trying to hide it."

Spencer and Hotch were blushing and looked down at their feet.

"Ok fine were in a relationship" said Hotch.

"FINALLY YOU ADMIT IT" shouted Rossi.

"I'm going to need proof though, so ill need video evidence" said Garcia with an evil glint in her eye.

"Baby-girl control your twisted ways" said Morgan in a playful tone.

The others were laughing.

"Ok…let's get back to class time now. Today we're going to do another trust exercise, the trust fall."

Everyone got a partner

"Ok Morgan and Garcia you go first."

Garcia began to lean back and Morgan caught her mid-fall.

"Awesome. Next are Rossi and JJ."

"Rossi leaned back but JJ let him fall flat on his back."

"OWWW, hey what was that for?"

"You stole my lunch today; I was so hungry you jerk."

"Ok…you guys just put your emotions aside and do it again."

This time JJ caught Rossi.

"Ok...Prentiss you're going to paired with Morgan."

Morgan caught her as well.

"Great, Reid and Hotch your up."

Reid leaned back and Hotch caught him, he held him lovingly in his arms and kissed him sweetly.

"Oh get a room you two" said Rossi.

"Ok" said Hotch, and he carried Reid out of the room and into his office.

"What I have a video recorder on my phone, I need documented evidence" shouted Garcia as she ran after them.

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	7. Chapter 7

I don't own Criminal Minds

This chapter has yoga in it. I love yoga but I can't really find a class right now which kind of sucks. I use the names of real yoga poses or ones that my teacher made up but are still good, that I remember so look them up if you're curious. I recommend yoga if your stressed out or just want a very relaxing sort of exercise to add on your regular routine and also meditation which is also great, especially before final exams.

Enjoy

I was time for class once again, the team waited patiently for Mark. He was late again.

"I bet you twenty dollars that he does crack" said Morgan.

"You're on" said Rossi.

Suddenly Mark came in looking slightly disheveled.

"Sorry, I'm late…I was…busy."

Spencer and Hotch were sitting next to each other; Hotch was whispering something in his ear. Reid was giggling like a school girl.

"You know…I've gotten used to them being together. It's nice that they are so happy" said Morgan.

"Yeah" said Prentiss.

"Ok everyone, today we are doing yoga. It's a great stress reliever. I brought mats and some soothing music."

Everyone got a mat and Mark turned on the music.

"Ok will start but standing up straight and focus on your breathing."

After a few minutes, Mark told them to do a warrior pose.

Morgan felt a joint crack.

"Oww…man that actuality feels pretty good."

Next was the downward dog pose.

"Hey Reid, your surprising flexible" said Mark.

Spencer and Hotch chuckled. "Don't even ask" said Rossi.

The others burst out laughing.

Next was child's pose.

Everyone was starting to really relax and enjoy the session.

Finally after a few more poses, it was mediation time, only this time, they had to lie down and not sit cross-legged.

Spencer was able to relax better this way then last time.

The session was over ten minutes later. Everyone got up except for Rossi.

He was fast asleep. "Hey guys I got a magic marker" said Garcia with an evil grin.

"Let's write on his face" said JJ.

TEN MINUTES LATER

Rossi woke up to find the team standing over him laughing.

"What's so funny" he said.

"Your face" said Morgan.

Rossi went into the bathroom to find that they had written on his face the words, "Dewb" and "Lunch-stealer."

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	8. Chapter 8

I don't own Criminal Minds

Enjoy

Garcia was sitting in the class; she was so bored she couldn't stand it. Mark decided to give a lecture on the importance of togetherness and blah blah blah.

Suddenly an idea popped into her mind. She got out her PDA and found Mark's cell number. She called it and soon his cell went off and Mark excused himself from the room to answer the call. The others noticed her PDA and waited for Mark to pick up the phone outside.

"Hello."

"Yes, this is Mrs. Sanderson, I'm calling on behalf of your doctor, Dr. Livingston (Garcia hacked into Mark's files to find who his doctor was)."

"Ok…is something wrong."

"Well you just had a physical last week and he found that you have a slight infection in your bladder."

Everyone had to hold in their snickers and giggles.

"Well I have had some pain when going to the bathroom."

"Well your doctor wants you to try some home remedies before using pills since he knows your salary isn't that high. These pills are expensive."

"Okay…what should I do?"

"Well according to these instructions your doctor gave me…one thing that should be done, is punching yourself in the stomach repeatedly."

"What…but."

"Hey that's what the doctor said."

Over the phone the team heard Mark punching himself. Hotch had tears in his eyes and Morgan was holding his stomach from laughing too hard.

"Okay I think that's good, how do you feel?"

"I'm in pain."

"Okay…well the next idea was to go to the bathroom and try to go, but make large noises; it helps the stomach and intestines."

They heard him go the bathroom and the team was about to burst out laughing.

"GODDAMMIT….AHHHHHH…..WWWHHHHYYYY."

"Are you ok" asked Garcia.

"I feel pretty good. I have a class can we continue this later?"

"Sure have a good night."

Mark hung up the phone and went back into the classroom. The team was struggling not to laugh.

"What's wrong with you guys?"

"How's your bladder problem" said JJ.

Everyone started laughing. Mark noticed Garcia's PDA and began to chase her around the room.

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	9. Chapter 9

I don't own Criminal Minds

Enjoy

It was time yet again for another class. Mark was late as usual. So the team decided to chat for a while about nothing in particular, the Mark races in.

"Sorry I'm late. So I have decided to have a camping trip this weekend. So everyone must have a buddy."

Morgan paired with Rossi, Spencer paired with Hotch, and Prentiss and JJ paired together. Mark didn't want to be in the same tent with a woman so he let Garcia have her own tent.

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It was a long hike to the campsite.

"God I should have not wore jeans today" said Morgan.

"Oh come Morgan, it's not that hot" said Garcia.

"You kidding, I could cook a Christmas ham in between my thighs."

Rossi snorted, "Morgan…I don't want to eat ANYTHING that has been in your thighs."

The rest of the team chuckled.

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At the campsite, the team set up their tents. Morgan and Rossi went off to catch some fish for dinner while the rest prepared a fire and the other supplies.

After about four hours, Morgan and Rossi could four large fish. Morgan sliced them into fish steaks Morgan took out some seasoning rub and garnished the fish with some olive oil. Finally he took out a grill wire rack and put close to the fire but not so the flames would get to the fish. He cooked them up and sprinkled on some last minute seasonings.

The other's mouths watered from the smell of the grilled fish.

Once it was night fall, dinner was ready. The team sat down with plates full of yummy fish steaks.

Mark stood up, "This camping trip is to remind you that you're not just co-workers but also friends. On a camping trip you're supposed to relax and enjoy quietly time with friends."

The team nodded in agreement and spent the rest of dinner talking and eating.

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Eventually, the team went into their tents to go to sleep.

Rossi was sitting on his sleeping bag, reading a book while Morgan was lying in his sleeping bag looking at the top of the tent.

"By the way Morgan…the fish was great" said Rossi.

Morgan smiled, "Thanks, my dad taught me how to cook wish when I was a kid."

Rossi put down his book, "Really, my dad hated cooking. My mom taught me how to cook Italian recipes mostly."

"I love Italian; my favorite would have to be Penne Al Vodka, with a bit of meat in it of course."

"Yeah that's my favorite too."

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Spencer was sleeping in his sleeping bag when he felt someone pull his blanket off him.

Spencer giggled, "Aaron, they others will hear us."

Hotch smiled, "Then be quiet."

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JJ and Emily were making hand puppets by using the flashlight.

"Look it's a dog" said Emily.

"Well my elephant will stomp on it" said JJ.

"Oh you ruin all the fun" said Emily.

They both laughed.

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Later that night, Mark woke up the sound of growling. He poked his head out of his tent and saw a huge bear.

He screamed and the bear ran away but he woke up the others.

Morgan and Rossi ran out with their guns drawn. The girls peaked outside of their tents.

Reid ran out wearing Hotch's shirt and Hotch was in his underwear.

Everyone stared at them, "Really guys" said Rossi.

Hotch stared back, "Yes really." Reid blushed.

"Why did you scream" asked JJ.

"I saw a bear but it took off" said Mark.

"It probably smelled the fish blood" said Morgan.

"Let's just go back to bed, now that's gone ok" said Hotch.

The others nodded and went to bed.

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The next day the team woke up to find their camp was completely torn apart.

"Looks like the bear did come back" said Rossi.

Mark sighed, "Will have to cut this camping trip short no that are equipment is destroyed."

They walked down the trail to their cars.

"At least we had a good night sleep" said Spencer.

"Except for the people who heard you" grumbled Rossi.

Spencer blushed.


	10. Chapter 10

I don't own Criminal Minds

Enjoy

Mark was in the break room getting a bag of chips from the vending machine. But the chip bag was stuck in the machine.

"Dammit! STUPID chips. I WANT MY SOUR CREAM AND ONION CHIPS."

He started to hit and kick the machine but then he punched it so hard that his fist went into the machine. He screamed in pain but when he tried to get his hand out it was stuck tight. He tried to use his other hand but it got stuck in the machine as well.

"Hello! HELP…WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE?"

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In the "classroom" as Mark calls it, Garcia brought in a radio and had it on high volume.

They were dancing and chatting happily. "Hey guys when do you think Mark will be here" asked Spencer.

"Oh he is always late. Will just sit here and enjoy the music until he shows up" said Morgan with a smile.

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"SOMEBODY, HELP ME! I'm trapped in the vending machine…well my hands are."

He waited for a few minutes but no one came.

"DEREK, SPENCER…JJ…I KNOW YOU IDIOTS CAN HEAR ME…GET ME OUT."

Still nothing.

"OH COME ON…I'll have to go to the bathroom at some point. I'll pee on your precious vending machine and you'll never have fresh snacks again. It will smell like pee. I'M NOT JOKING!"

Nothing.

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The team was having so much fun dancing and Rossi brought some drinks too.

"Man I'm glad that Mark is so late" said Morgan.

"I'll be right back I'm going to get some snacks from the vending machine" said Spencer.

He walked down the hall and into the break room and saw Mark with his hands trapped in the vending machine.

"Oh Spencer thank god. Get me out of this thing. We have to have a group therapy session today."

Spencer thought for a moment, a fun time with his friends talking and playing poker (Rossi brought playing card with the drinks) or group therapy.

Spencer smiled and went over to Mark, he took out a bunch of bags from the hole that Mark made and patted Mark on the back.

"Thanks for the free food." Spencer walked away.

"Spencer where are you going…Spencer….SPENCER GET ME OUT OF THIS THING…SPENCER!"

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	11. Chapter 11

I don't own Criminal minds

Enjoy

Mark stomped into the classroom, looking angry as hell.

"Ok…since you bastards thought it was so funny to leave me trapped in vending machine…I decided that today were going to be doing a lecture today on safety at the office. So get in your seat, shut up, and pay attention."

The team sat down at the chairs and Mark turned on a slide show on a part projections screen.

"Ok at the office it is important to know how to act in an emergency. Therefore let's first go over fire safety."

The team groaned and listened to Mark for a minute, and then Morgan fell asleep.

"DEREK WAKE AND PAY ATTENTION."

Morgan's head shot up and sighed.

"Ok, so when you hear the fire alarm you must…"

JJ and Prentiss were in the back and they whispered to each other, "I can't stand this for another minutes Emily."

"Me nether, you got any bright ideas?"

JJ thought for a moment then nodded.

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JJ got out her coffee that was still warm and wasn't drunk from yet. She had some chocolate in her bag as well. She remembered that chocolate gave Mark lots of gas. So she put the chocolate bits in and stirred until the chocolate melted and blended into the coffee.

"Mark."

He turned to face her.

"I feel awful after what we did to you so I got you a warm cup of coffee."

He smiled, "Thank you JJ. I hope the rest of you can learn from her example."

He drank all of the coffee and JJ snickered quietly.

He started taking when Mark stomach began to runble and then…

The sound made everyone's head shoot up. They started to laugh.

Mark blushed and tried to stop but he couldn't.

Once everyone started to laugh, he started to laugh too.

"Ok that was mean…but maybe I should learn to take a joke. Still I didn't like being stuck in a vending machine. Just so the rest of you know, Spencer already apologized and gave me a coffee WITHOUT the chocolate."

PLEASE REVIEW

When I wrote this I kept asking myself is this joke in bad taste. Most likely but I couldn't resist. Sorry.


	12. Chapter 12

I don't own Criminal Minds

Plus I posted my first crossover story called _Half Mad _check it out when you can.

Enjoy

It was time for class yet again; Mark decided to talk them on a fun trip or what Mark defines as _fun_.

He was bringing the team on vacation at a hotel that was outside of the city and in the woods. The hotel was in the middle of nowhere and it was creepy with a capital "C."

Since it was a small hotel they had to double up. It wasn't too obvious who bunked with whom. Mark told them that the hotel had an awesome bar and restaurant. Also the next day they would go to a small town nearby for some shopping and a relaxing visit to a spa.

The point of the trip was to be able to show the team how to relax and enjoy wherever they are. This would also apply to wherever work would take them.

At the hotel, the team unpacked for the two day stay and they all met in the lounge.

"Alright everyone, tonight were having dinner at the restaurant. Remember we are getting up at nine tomorrow morning so get a good night sleep."

They nodded and walked into the restaurant to finally eat after a long drive to the hotel.

"YUCK, this food is horrible" whispered Morgan. He didn't dare to say that out loud unless he wanted the waiter to spit in their food. Whether it a myth or not, he wouldn't want to find out the hard way.

The team grimaced at the nasty food they ate. The chicken was burnt, the steak was bland, and the pasta was undercooked so it was still hard. They could only eat a couple of bites before they pushed the food away. Luckily the bill was paid for by Mark.

"They used to have such good food" said Mark with a sigh.

"When was this" asked Rossi.

After dinner, the team decided to go to the lobby and play poker for a while. As they played they noticed a couple coming into the hotel. They looked wicked pissed off at each other as they walked to the receptionist's desk.

"YOU HAD TO TAKE THE BACK ROADS DIDN'T YOU HARVEY?"

"WELL SORRY IF I WANTED TO TRY TO GET TO THE HOTEL FASTER WITH MY LOVING WIFE."

"THIS IS JUST LIKE OUR LAST VACATION. YOU TAKE US TO SOME CHEAP HOTEL AND YOU EXPECT ME TO ALL SWEET AND CUTE. "OH MY SWEET LITTLE DUCKLING" YOU USED TO CALL ME."

"YOU STILL ARE BUT NOW YOUR SIXTY POUNDS HEAVIER AND LOOK LIKE YOU JUST ROLLED OUT OF A TRAILER PARK AFTER A NIGHT OF WHISKY AND SHAME."

They walked upstairs to get to their rooms. The team watched as they continued to yell and argue.

"I don't think we're going to have a good night sleep tonight."

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"YOU ARE ALWAYS LOOKING AT THAT WOMAN ACROSS THE STREET. WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER?"

Morgan and Rossi were staring up at the ceiling, in their own separate beds. There Hotel room was the one that was closest to the angry couple.

They tried asking them to quiet done a bit after five minutes, they would start back up again.

"I'm sure glad none of my ex-wives were like this" said Rossi.

"I'll bet its therapy that keeps them from killing each other" said Morgan.

Rossi nodded.

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The next morning, the team sat on the couches completely exhausted.

The screaming couple kept everyone awake, all night long.

Even Mark was a bit tired.

"Ok…*yawn*, let's go to the village for some shopping and some breakfast…who's awake enough to drive?"

Spencer raised his hand; he was able to get some sleep. He took the keys and they got into the car.

The village had only two shops, Hardware , and the general store.

They weren't too happy about it. Especially when the only good stuff they could buy was souvenirs like snow globes and other nick knacks.

"Mark…where is this village you were telling us about" asked Garcia.

"Well…most of the village left the town to go to long island…more business there."

The team sighed, "Well we still have the spa to look forward to" said Mark with a smile.

The spa was in a small house that looked very nice. Each one of them got a massage and afterwards some time on the terrace with some wine.

They all had their own room and so far everything seemed comfortable and relaxing. Morgan sat on the massage table in a robe, waiting for the massage therapist. A woman came in with a large tray and placed it on the table next to the sink.

"Hello Mr. Morgan, I'm Jane your therapist for today. I'll be doing a basic shiatsu massage with a hot stone treatment."

Morgan smiled and nodded. Once he was on the table under the sheet, Jane turned on the music and started to warm the stones. She got the oil and started the massage. At first everything was fine and Morgan was relaxed but Jane forgot to reduce the temperature of the water that the stones were soaking in.

She took them out with two tongs and placed them on Morgan's back.

"EEEEYYYYYYOOOOWWWW!"

#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$$#$#$#

Everyone was sitting on the terrace with sore backs and legs. The massages were terrible; Morgan had ice packs on his back because of the burns.

"They should be sued…for trying to KILL ME" said Morgan with a growl.

"Oh yeah well try having your spine being shaped into a pretzel. It's not exactly therapeutic" said Garcia.

The others grumbled but JJ was actually laughing.

"Look at us, whining about massages, bad shopping, and some couple with marriage issues. This may not have been the best vacation but it's funny as hell."

The others were silent but they started to laugh as well.

They laughed so hard their sides hurt.

"Do you guys think that Mark planed this whole thing?"

The shrugged but then saw Mark come in with a big smile on his face. "Got you back for that party and coffee trick you pulled."

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	13. Chapter 13

I don't own Criminal Minds

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Once again it was time for class and the team was ready to get started but instead of Mark coming in the room, a large man in camouflage pants and white shirt came in. The man looked like he just came from a wrestling match and won.

"Uh…where is Mark" asked Rossi.

"Mark is sick…got the flu."

The rest of them nodded, "I'm Mark's brother, Jake. I'm an ex-marine and I also teach boxing. Mark asked me to teach the class today. So today we are going to exercise. I already brought gym clothes for you to wear. Get them on and meet me out in the gym on the 3rd floor.

The team got on the clothes and sneakers. The gym was huge with every work out equipment available. "Alright, we'll start with a jog around the gym…GO!"

The team ran around the gym, Spencer quickly tired and sat down by the wall. "GET UP" shouted Jake.

"I can't I'm not a good runner…and my thighs chafe easily." Jake shook his head, "GET UP AND RUN." Spencer shot back to his feet and ran to catch up with the rest of the team.

After thirty minutes, the team was exhausted. "COME ON PEOPLE, 30 PUSH-UPS…NOW!"

**1 hour later-**

The team was so exhausted that they were lying on the ground gasping for breath.

"This it I'm going to die in a gym, in a pair of tight white shorts, drenched in sweat and regrets of coming to these stupid classes" said Rossi.

"Come on we have another hour left of class" said Jake.

"Please…just give us a minute to be able to move again" said JJ.

"I…can't…feel…my THIGHS" said Spencer.

"God…I feel like I'm dying right now" said Hotch.

"OK…lets all take a ten minute break" said Jake.

**Ten minutes later**

"Oh come on get UP" shouted Jake. But the team didn't move, Morgan and Spencer were even sleeping.

"WAKE UP" Jake shouted and the team sat up. "You know…the floor in here is very comfortable" said Morgan.

Suddenly Mark came into the room. "I'm so sorry I'm late, my car got a flat for some strange reason…" He looked at Jake.

"Umm…who is this?" "Your brother Jake" said Prentiss. Mark gave them a funny look, "I don't have a brother…"

The team looked at Jake who looked very nervous. "I REGRET NOTHING" and he ran out of the room.

Everyone was silent, "Who was that guy" asked Garcia.

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	14. Chapter 14

I don't own Criminal Minds

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It was class time again for the BAU team; Mark decided that they would have a group movie night together.

"So everyone bring your favorite movies and food. Plus pillows and blankets, it will be a long night of cinema entertainment" said Mark with a big smile. Morgan had a giant flat screen TV, so naturally the party was at his house.

**THE NEXT NIGHT AT MORGAN'S HOUSE-**

"Ok everyone is here, thanks for bringing food and soda. So I made a spinner with all our names on it so we can choose who goes first and so on."

They all nodded and made sure to get comfortable on the leather sofa. Hotch was hold Spencer as he cradled his head on Hotch's shoulder. "Get a room you too" snorted Rossi. Spencer stuck out his tongue.

"Mature" Rossi said.

"Alright enough…lets spin" said Mark. The spinner landed on Rossi's name. He got up and pulled out a DVD, "The Godfather".

"Why am I not surprised" said Prentiss. "Oh shut up, it's a classic" said Rossi. He popped in the movie and it started.

It was when the scene with the severed horse head in the bed, that things got a bit crazy.

"OH MY GOD, that poor horse" squealed Garcia. "Oh come on its not that bad" said Rossi.

"A horse got decapitated, how would you feel if that happened to you" she snapped.

"He would be laughing his head off" said JJ. The others snickered. Everyone settled down after that, until the movie was over.

"Ok thank you Dave, Next up is…Morgan" said Mark. Morgan got up and got out a DVD of "Pineapple Express".

"Oh wow this movie is so funny" said Garcia.

"I know I love it" said Morgan.

"Is this that movie with the pot heads" asked Spencer.

"Yes it is."

"…you know what would be funny…if in one part of the move a truck of weed goes on fire and everyone starts freaking out cause of the fumes" said Garcia.

Everyone was silent, and then they burst out laughing.

After the second movies was done, the spinner landed on JJ. She put on "Sex in the City".

But during the film there was a knock on the door. Morgan got up to see who it was; it was a pizza delivery guy with a huge black mustache.

"One large pepperoni pizza" he said.

"Uh…I didn't order any…hey haven't I seen you from somewhere" Morgan asked.

"No, no…I have never seen you before in my whole life. No sir this is the first time seeing you."

Morgan ripped off the mustache, "You're that Jake guy, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"…I REGRET NOTHING!" Then he ran away.

Morgan stared as he ran away and then noticed that he left the pizza behind. "He looked inside and saw there was a pizza in the box. "Great free food." Then he closed the door.

"He Morgan who was that" asked Garcia.

"Some lonely pizza delivery guy" he said.

"…whatever had me slice please."

The rest of the night went great. Until Prentiss put on the movie "The Ring."

"I don't want to watch this anymore" cried Spencer who was clinging to Hotch, who was grinning ear to ear. Garcia was clinging to Morgan who was also grinning.

JJ laughed when Rossi vomited at one part of the movie.

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	15. Chapter 15

I don't own Criminal Minds

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The team was in class again, it was Halloween that night. The classroom was decorated with Halloween décor and pumpkins. Everyone was in costume; Spencer was dressed up as Albert Einstein, Hotch was dressed up as a vampire (a request for Spencer of course), Garcia was a princess, Morgan was a boxer (with a shirt on, cause it was too cold not to wear one), JJ was a zombie, Prentiss was a gypsy, and Rossi was a police man. Mark came in with another guy who looked very nervous.

"Everyone this is my cousin, Eddy. He's joining us for this class." The others nodded and Eddy sat down in the back of the room.

"Ok so tonight my fellow ghouls and goblins were reading ghost stories" said Mark with a smile. "Later on we'll also watch a spooky movie.

Mark got out a book and sat down to read, "Ok so I'll start with this story and then you guys can tell your own."

"This is the tale of the BLOODY GRAVEYARD."

Eddy screamed and the others turned to look at him. "Sorry…I-I got scared."

"Ok…anyway…It was a dark and spooky night, when three teenagers were driving to a party on a deserted dirt road…"

Eddy looked terrified, while the others listened to the story. "Hope your not to scared baby-girl" whispered Morgan. Garcia giggled quietly.

"So…when they got to the graveyard to find help after their car broke down…A MONSTER POPPED OUT."

Eddy screamed again and ran out of his seat, "MONSTER!"

The others watched as he ran around the room. "Eddy, cut it out" shouted Mark. Everyone else got out candy that they brought for class and watched the two run around screaming.

After a half an hour, Eddy was exhausted and passed out on the floor. "Shouldn't we help him" asked Garcia. "No he'll wake up later" said Mark.

"Ok…Rossi would you like to tell a story?"

"Sure, hang on I have the book in my bag here."

As he searched through his bag a man ran into the room.

"I REGRET NOTHING!"

"For god's sake, GO AWAY" shouted Morgan.

Then Jake left. "You know I think he's the scariest thing on this planet by far" said Spencer.

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	16. Chapter 16

I don't own Criminal Minds

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It was the last day of class, everyone was pretty sad as they packed up the class room and basically turned it back into a large office that it originally was. Mark came in, also with a sad expression on his face.

"So, today is the last day of our employee relations class. As I'm sure you know, you will be all be evaluated today and the information will be brought to Strauss's desk. Hotch your first."

Hotch stood up from his chair.

"Aaron Hotchner…you have shown improvement were you needed it the most…in relating better to your team. Although you are the head leader and must portray yourself as a "the rock" in a way, you must also have to show compassion and to be able to just let your guard down from those you care about. You've passed with flying colors and I'm sure Strauss will be pleased. You may sit."

Hotch sat down. "Reid your next." Spencer stood up.

"Spencer Reid…in the past you portrayed yourself as a shy and unconfident man. Yet I've seen you become a smiling and cheerful person after starting here. You seem more confident with your team and with other people now. Also you have more strength in yourself which you really needed. Well done Spencer."

Spencer smiled and sat down. "Morgan your next."

"Derek Morgan, you have shown great improvement in becoming part of the team rather then being a lone cop. Your dedication towards your teammates has improved and you've shown you have what it takes to get to the top in the FBI and law enforcement. Well done. You may sit."

Morgan sat down, "JJ please stand." She stood up.

"Jennifer Jareau…you're a true asset to the team. Not only as an expert in handling the media and overall profiler, but also as a "mother-figure" as well. Your understanding and compassion in the team has grown after being here. Also you've also grown to be much stronger emotionally while spending more time with the team. Great job, you may sit."

JJ smiled brightly and sat down, "Rossi please stand."

"David Rossi…although you had a rough start at the beginning…you've proven to be a good friend and a great teammate. You've proven to be dependable, warm-hearted, and most of all a good friend. Great job, Strauss would be proud."

Rossi sat down, "Prentiss your next." She stood up.

"Emily Prentiss, you have shown you are a capable agent and a reliable friend. Your trust has grown as you have been here and that will only strengthen your team overall. Also you have become more relaxed and are starting to let your guards down when with the team. Wonderful job."

Prentiss sat down. "And finally, Garcia please stand." She stood up.

"What can I say Penelope, you're like the mother hen around here and bring joy and love to the group. You help lift their spirits and bring peace of mind even after the most horrible of crimes. Also you have a wicked sense of humor, which I was the target of at many times. Well done and keep at it."

She sat down and Mark started to cry. "…I'm so proud…" then he burst into tears.

Just then Jake came running into the room.

"I REGRET NO-" Then Mark hit him over the head with a vase that was nearby. "SHUT UP YOUR RUINING THE MOMENT."

Jake was on the floor out cold. "Hey to celebrate or graduation, let's go to the bar" shouted Garcia. They all nodded and walked over Jake to the door and left the classroom for the last time.

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I want to thank everyone for reading this story and enjoying the simple humor and fun that this story hopefully provided for you. See you soon in my other stories my readers!


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